WHY IS SETTING AND MAinTaiNING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES SO HARD?

(even though your emotional health and happiness depend on it?)

Most people who struggle with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries:

  • Have been trained throughout our lives in one way or another to ignore our boundaries, accept their violation or blame ourselves when it happens.
  • As a result, we don't have a really clear sense of what our boundaries are.
  • Often don't recognize when or how they are being crossed and instead internalize the boundary-crossing as something to do with us.
  • Don't understand how to set and maintain boundaries in ways that feel kind or caring for both ourselves and other people cave or give in when we get push back on the boundaries we have set. 

Knowing your boundaries with total clarity, and having what it take to articulate, respect, and enforce them will dynamically improve your emotional health, your sense of personal power and your happiness. Many struggles with happiness and emotional well-being are often boundary-related issues whether or not we recognize them as such: 

five signs that you need to improve your abilities with your boundaries and find a better balance in your life:

1

You Say Yes When You'd Rather Say No

 You choose to be the “bigger person” and stretch and give of yourself even if it's not what you really want... and you do this habitually in ways that are seldom reciprocated by the people you are stretching for. Going out of your way to help someone or doing it repeatedly when they would never or don't do the same for you is an example of this boundary issue.

2

You Value Other People Over You

You put other people's feelings, intentions, opinions, and perspectives ahead of your own and are often willing to consider the needs, well-being and perspectives of other people above your own. You have the ability to see things from other people's points of view to the point that you often take them on or completely give up or disregard your own.

3

You Give More Than You Get

You often give more than you are getting and do so even after it's no longer fun for you, feels taxing or draining. You find it hard to say no to others when they ask, or even sometimes volunteer yourself, but it has a net negative effect on your happiness and overall well-being.

4

You Try to Convince People To Care About You

You invest lots of time and energy into trying to get people who treat you poorly into treating you differently, showing more care, respect, consideration or interest for you. You try to get them to see that you are a good person, to care about you, to matter to them. You try to get them to see why their behavior is hurtful or problematic to you and get them to change rather than walking away from things that don't work for you that you find hurtful, disrespectful or unkind (etc.)

5

You Feel Fatigued, Exhausted or Drained

You often feel fatigued, exhausted, or drained by your interactions with other people. If you are an empathic or sensitive person you are constantly feeling and processing what is going on for other people and feel easily swayed or bombarded by other people's feelings and emotions. It's often difficult for you to differentiate between what belongs to you and what belongs to other people.



Which or how many of these ring true for you in some way? Share your numbers in the comments! These are just a couple of examples of how your life is affected and impacted by your ability to set and maintain clear boundaries in your life. But it is totally possible to learn a different way, to reclaim your power, your energy, and your life!


Ready to truly end your self-sacrificing and people-pleasing patterns, be able to set and maintain healthy boundaries and build a life in which you and your needs truly matter?

Check out this special program I put together designed to help you do just that... and in a short amount of time!  

OWN YOUR POWER:

End the self-sacrificing cycle & create a life
 in which you & your needs matter as much as anybody else

See the Program Details