Trust Yourself and Choose for YOU
no Justification or Explanation required
I am finding the courage to just walk away.
Walk away from situations, conditions, dynamics, ways of being and engaging that aren’t serving me or resonate for me. Knowing what’s true for me in a given moment and trusting and following that truth.
It feels truly liberating.
No explaining, no justifying, no arguing with myself, also no blame, just clear, present choice about what works for me, how I want to engage (or not), what I want to show up for, how I want to use my time and energy.
It took me a long time to get here.
A long time because, probably like you, I’d been trained into confusion about my perception and experience of things. I’d become very good at reasoning and justifying, at explaining and “understanding”, at needing some “logical” explanation for my experience and for my feelings. Being concerned about what other people will think… being used to care-taking them and their feelings so as not to create disharmony or disruption, which has often meant considering their feelings over my own.
I’ve discovered that life is too precious, delicious, valuable and amazing to spend my time in situations where I feel less than fully alive, with people or situations or in ways that drain my energy our diminish my sense of well-being.
The power of discernment, the ability to clearly know your truth and follow your own Yes and NO is a truly empowering and liberating one.
If something is not feeling good to you, it is not feeling good to you. Period. Who cares about all the shoulds and reasons and justifications and how the other person actually does… blah blah blah blah blah. Your experience is your experience, it is not up for negotiation. Sure, in a moment it could change, but in the moment that it is, it is what it is. What if you stopped making that wrong? How much do you argue with yourself and the way you are feeling?
What if you stopped making you wrong? What if you stopped having to have reasons, justifications or explanations for your experiences?
Most of us have been trained for our whole lives out of our own understanding, out of our own listening, out of listening to our own knowing in deference to others, trained to have to justify or explain how we feel and why. Told that our feelings and perceptions are wrong, illogical, inaccurate. How can a feeling be inaccurate or wrong? It’s just how you feel inside.
So what if your feelings and perceptions aren’t wrong? What if they are actually spot-on for you in the moment that you are in? What if you could start paying a bit more attention to those feelings? What if you started to take care of you instead of everybody else?
What if you could choose what makes you come alive, what makes your heart sing and just walk away from anything that doesn’t. No story, no explanation, no justification. No arguing with yourself anymore. It’s a moment by moment choice. I think you’ll find it liberating.
Please share comments, thoughts, experiences and reflections below. If this provides inspiration, insight or food for thought, then share it with your friends so they can engage with these ideas too.
Great post. Speaks to many. It is always good to be reminded that we do not need to justify that which we do. We do not owe anybody any explanations for our life. People will always judge by what they see through the lenses of of their own reality, and there are many realities out there. We are all equal but different, and we are all entitled to live life according to our own rules. Live and let live.
Hi Kristina,
So glad to hear that it resonated for you and that you found it valuable. Yes, when it comes down to it there will always be people who don’t like our choices, or agree with decisions we make. As the saying goes “you can please some of the people all the time and all of the people some of the time but you can’t please all the people all of the time.” What I’ve found is that ultimately it is myself I have to live with, and that is the one area where I have the most power, so regardless of what others thing, I’ll make choices that are right and work for me. Yes, live and let live.