Nonviolent Communication Archives ⋆ True Essence Coaching

Some thoughts on Maturity

Some Thoughts on Maturity What does maturity mean to you? What makes someone mature or immature? I began to more-deeply investigate the question of maturity when I noticed I was repeatedly judging someone in my life as immature. Being a practitioner of Nonviolent Communication, which invites us to move beyond our judgement to see more clearly what is actually occurring, I wanted to really unpack what behaviors or ways of being I was labeling as immature. What I came to see [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:09:34-07:00August 22nd, 2014|Categories: Uncategorized|Tags: Awareness, choice, Compassionate Communication, connection, Consciousness, freedom, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Personal Development, Self-determination|1 Comment

Compliments that Connect

Compliments that ConnectHow able are you to accept a compliment?We all know we “SHOULD” accept compliments when we receive them, but here's the funny thing about compliments- they often come in the form of judgment:“You're so pretty” “You're so smart" “You're such a calm person” “You're so kind and considerate”Have you ever noticed that you might feel slightly uneasy with these compliments even though you “should” be able to take a compliment?The thing with these types of compliments [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T07:03:29-07:00May 17th, 2014|Categories: NVC|Tags: comm, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, empowerment, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, NVC practice, relationship building, win-win|4 Comments

Begin with the End in Mind

Begin with the End in Mind Begin. With the end. In mind. I can't tell you how true this is becoming for me, particularly and acutely in how I relate to and engage with other people. Often acting or engaging in ways that have not contributed to creating the kind of connection or engagement I desire, I have begun to really think before I act... So often we choose the opposite. We choose actions that are very unlikely [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T04:15:06-07:00October 17th, 2013|Categories: NVC, relationship|Tags: Awareness, communication skills, connection, empowerment, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, personal empowerment, relationship building, self regulation, Self-determination, self-help|1 Comment

Changing others?

The Power We Have in Relationships I am realizing just how little power I have over other people, particularly if I want to stay in an empowered place myself. Any time I make another person at fault or responsible for my experience, I have given my power away. When I do that, their behavior determines my experience and consequently requires them to change if I wish to have a different experience. If you think about it, I imagine [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T04:08:50-07:00October 9th, 2013|Categories: Creating your life, NVC, relationship|Tags: Awareness, choice, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, empowerment, freedom, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Power with, Self-determination|2 Comments

Trusting your design

Trusting the Intelligence of your design "You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves... I've been thinking about this a bit... about this soft animal... Have you ever noticed how often we make ourselves wrong? Fight ourselves, think that we should be different? Judge ourselves for feeling [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T03:31:00-07:00July 31st, 2013|Categories: NVC, Transformation, Trusting yourself|Tags: Being present, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Consciousness, Cooperation, empowerment, inner animal, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, peace, Presence, respect, Self-acceptance, self-help, Self-trust, Transformation|5 Comments

an exercise with feelings…

Try this exercise: Notice a sentence in which you use the word feel. Now say the same sentence again, without using the word feel. When you take out the word feel, are you actually expressing a feeling or are you expressing an opinion or interpretation?... Example: "I feel excited." Take out feel and it translates to "I'm excited." "I feel welcomed." Take out feel and you have "I'm welcomed". Which actually expresses a feeling, an emotion?... If you [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T02:47:05-07:00July 5th, 2013|Categories: NVC|Tags: communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Consciousness, empowerment, Feelings, Feelings vs. Judgements, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, NVC|2 Comments

You can’t make me…

You can't make me... I spend a fair amount of time with children. Actually, being with and relating to children is one of those special gifts I have. It started when I was just a kid and I guess I just never stopped playing, being with and relating to children. Through my experience I've developed a unique perspective that's part of what I'm here to share with the world. One theme that has been arising recently is the [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T02:44:12-07:00June 26th, 2013|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood, NVC, relationship, Transformation|Tags: Adult-child Relationships, child rearing, childhood, choice, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Consciousness, Cooperation, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, relationship building|1 Comment

Exploring Violence and Nonviolence in Communication

What does Nonviolence mean to you? We opened our first class of Communication From the Inside Out with this question. As we delved into the exploration of Violence and Nonviolence we discovered that violence and the roots of violence is far more complex and complicated than we ever would have imagined. Recognizing violence in all of it's forms Most people think of violence as physical harm, brutality and the like, in which most of us don't actively participate, [...]

By Elana|2019-11-23T02:21:32-07:00June 18th, 2013|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood, NVC, Transformation|Tags: Adult-child Relationships, Arun Gandhi, child Empowerment, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Consciousness, empowerment, equality, freedom, Marshall Rosenberg, nonviolence, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, respect, self-help|0 Comments

Needs Vs. Strategies…

Distinguishing Needs from Strategies Something I've been studying and working with for many years is something called "Nonviolent Communication" or NVC, which some of you may be familiar with. I struggle with this name as I don't believe that either the Nonviolent or the Communication piece really articulates what it's about. My working explanation for Nonviolent Communication goes like this: Nonviolent Communication is not only a language and process for expressing ourselves and hearing others, it is also [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T20:08:55-07:00May 28th, 2013|Categories: NVC|Tags: choice, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, Conflict Resolution, connection, decision making, empowerment, equality, freedom, getting along, healing, human relationships, Marshall Rosenberg, Needs, needs and strategies, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, NVC practice, Power with, relationship building, respect, Self-determination, self-responsability, win-win|5 Comments

What are kids needs underneath their behavior?

Listening for What Kids Really Need So how do we really listen to what kids are needing, not just at the surface but at the deeper levels of their being? If, as Marshall Rosenberg and Compassionate Communication (NVC) assert, human behavior is really an expression of met or un-met needs and all anyone is ever doing is trying to meet their needs, what is a person's behavior really saying and communicating? I am seeking to understand kids’ behavior [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:43:46-07:00April 10th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Cooperation, Louise Dietzel, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, Parenting, relationship building, Thomas Gordon|3 Comments

Making Presence a Priority

Shifting Priorities Not only being in kids’ lives, but fostering a certain quality of relationship is very important. If we want to make a real difference in kids’ lives, then not only our presence, but the quality of that presence can be extremely important. How do we make a cultural shift to the point where taking care of children and giving them full attention, the quality of our presence in their lives, is just as important as anything [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:45:06-07:00April 8th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: child rearing, childhood, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Cooperation, healing, Louise Dietzel, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, relationship building, Thomas Gordon, win-win|1 Comment

Cultivating Consideration

How do we cultivate in children a sense of care or consideration for others, a sense of responsibility and participation in the human community? While accountability and responsibility are important this does not mean that we use authoritarian power and punishment to “teach” someone a lesson. Like in any caring relationship, the goal should be toward cooperation and mutual respect, and through this care, a movement toward consideration and meeting of everyone's needs. Helping a child to understand [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T06:58:32-07:00April 2nd, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: Autonomy, child rearing, childhood, chlid empowerment, Compassionate Communication, Cooperation, equality, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, Parent-child relationships, Power with, teaching compassion, win-win|3 Comments

Say You’re Sorry?

Most parents want their children to grow up to be considerate of others and to be contributing members of society and their community but, so often, parents attempt to achieve this end through methods of manipulation and coercion. Such methods not only fail to cultivate in the child the desired feeling of care or compassion, but have other detrimental and perhaps opposite affects on the child. While we can sometimes get people to change their actions through such [...]

By Elana|2020-02-05T06:57:40-07:00March 15th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: child rearing, childhood, chlid empowerment, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Parenting, Power with, teaching compassion|5 Comments

Costs and limitations of Power-Over

Power Over? Living in the Old Paradigm, we have come to use manipulation, coercion and force to get children to do our bidding. The Old Paradigm, works on a system of punishment and rewards, of absolutes, of “good” and “bad”. We fail to recognize that children have their own needs and interests separable from adults, that they are people in their own right, and are not solely to be acted upon. Not only is such behavior undemocratic, life-diminishing, [...]

By Elana|2019-11-22T06:50:06-07:00February 16th, 2011|Categories: A new Paradigm for childhood|Tags: child rearing, childhood, chlid empowerment, communication skills, Cooperation, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, Thomas Gordon, win-win|0 Comments

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